Updated: Jul 6
It is expensive to have a family, no? Like, these people have to wear clothes. And eat food. And have shoes that fit. It can feel a bit guilt-provoking to spend money on ourselves as mamas.
I may buy many of my clothes secondhand, but I will tell you- I do not skimp on supplements. I suppose this is an issue of pride, or impracticality, or whatever. It’s like I am powerless against the pull.
I bought a $100 probiotic two months ago.
It was supposed to Fix Me.
It Did Not.
I once spent $330 on shakes that were supposed to Make Me Lose Weight Permanently.
(Coughs.) (Giggles.) (Side-eyes every other woman who is paddling in this same shameful boat.)
But let me tell you- my financial loss is your practical gain. I want to share with you the supplements that actually, consistently make a difference in my life and the life of my clients.
When you are spending your family’s hard earned money on an addition (which is a synonym of “supplement”) to your diet, you really want to make sure it works.
I used to trust Amazon reviews.
But most of those stinkers are compensated for their reviews.
Can we blame them? Or the companies? It is hard to get an entrepreneurial edge in this cutthroat capitalistic society.
Anyhoo. Let’s move on.
SUPPLEMENTS THAT ACTUALLY WORK AS THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO
Oh my goodness. “Magnesium” and “magic” must come from the same root word. I am typing with no WiFi so I can’t even get into an etymology database. Can someone clarify this for me please?
Magnesium counteracts calcium. Calcium contracts. Magnesium relaxes. This has manifold implications in the body.
Are you constipated (contracted)? You need #magnesium.
Are you anxious (contracted)? You need magnesium.
Are you cramped up in your muscles or uterus (contracted)? You need magnesium.
Since the body tends to dump out its precious little store of magnesium during times of illness or stress, most of us are deficient in this darling mineral.
Magnesium does what it is supposed to, 99% of the time. To be completely transparent, I will tell you that I have had two (2!) women (out of hundreds) text me and tell me that magnesium before bed actually gave them anxiety as opposed to relieving it.
This usually happens in women who have #adrenal fatigue already. (Test for that here). Too much magnesium at one time in a depleted body can cause some crazy symptoms. If your blood pressure is already low from magnesium deficiency and adrenal fatigue, you can also experience negative effects.
This happens super rarely. Most people start feeling better almost right away on magnesium.
Take 600-1200 mg every night before bed if you are stressed, exhausted, constipated, or anxious. This is completely safe for children at doses of 300-500 mg. Husbands too.
Now, if you need the Big Guns and you are Super Constipated, consider two things:
Your thyroid is fried
You need more calories
Magnesium will help you
That was three. I know.
If you never poop, you need some thyroid testing done. Normal humans poop 1-2 times a day. If you do not do this, you are not normal and we need to find out why.
When you are uber constipated, you need to use Oxygenated Magnesium. This is more powerful than other forms of magnesium and you sure as hell will poop every morning. Take it at night (2-10 pills) and stay near a bathroom in the morning. You are welcome.
Transdermal magnesium taken in magnesium #baths is also life changing. Two cups per hot, hot bath.
Niacin of the flushing variety does exactly what it is supposed to do. It dilates blood vessels and reduces #histamine.
This means that it helps your heart and stops your allergy symptoms from taking over your life.
Niacin (vitamin B3) legit makes you hot and bothered. Not in the fun way, but it is efficacious nonetheless.
If you experience #anxiety or panic attacks along with insomnia and seasonal allergies, you are a perfect candidate for niacin therapy.
Rare is the supplement that you can feel working immediately. Niacin is that supplement.
You will want a confidant and experienced person to walk you through a niacin session. I am happy to be that person for you, having conducted about 100 sessions on myself and numerous sessions on clients. Niacin is a little out there, but it is worth it.
Do you know what the best thing about collagen peptides is?
The fact that you get to add them to coffee. Or chai tea. Or a dirty chai, which apparently is a mixture of coffee and chai tea, which may be the best thing ever invented besides my husband and also wine.
Collagen peptides are ground-down cow hides and connective tissue. Gross, right? But as a decade-strong student of homeopathy, I am quite familiar with the concept of “like cures like”, which applies to actual homeopathic remedies, vaccinations, and also #collagen.
Do you want strong skin and #hair? Take collagen.
Do you want strong connective tissue? Take collagen?
Do you want luminous bones? Take collagen.
I live with a born cynic. He is paid to be a cynic. He will analyze and dissect and pull apart everything, especially- oh especially- any goofy health claim.
He pooh-poohed my collagen.
And then he started using it every day. And the difference was too marked to ignore.
I meanwhile skip around the house, trailing my new mushroom powder/ libido cream/ vitamin/ superfood behind me as I sing about its benefits. I want to hope and believe the best about every single thing. I want to at least believe the Amazon reviews, dammit.
It is good to be married to this man. It helps my soul. And my business. And my clients.
In a nutshell, collagen works.
It supplies protein, and amino acids, and STRUCTURE- do you know what I mean? If you do not, you are missing out.
And you should stop by my office for some tea and some collagen.
RUNNERS UP: B Vitamins, Vitamin C, digestive enzymes, black cumin oil
AND THE LOSER LIST
Everyone is always like, “Yay! We are so happy for you that this thing (diet/ program/ supplement) works for you!”.
But then secretly, we are happy when you are pulled back down into the mire like the rest of us.
(Monthly reminder: people, this is a fallen world. We are not meant to be happy, or whole, or perfect, or manifest anything on planet Earth. Health, wealth, and happiness are not our birthright, no matter what you read on Instagram. Our sin makes us offensive to God. We want to fix this ourselves, but alas, we cannot. Christ took our shame, and our sin, and our sickness, and our shortcoming, and He died for it. With this divine knowledge, we can have assurance that we will be in heaven, and finally whole. Because let’s face it. This life is pretty rough much of the time.)
And with that fallen world comes a whole list of things that promise much and deliver little.
Here is the short list:
I wanted to believe in these things. Some people swear by things like ashwaganda and holy basil and assorted mushrooms, but I tell you-I do not see them deliver what they promise. When used in conjunction with plenty of rest and nourishing food and stress relieving principles, adaptogens may be a helpful part of the puzzle, but they certainly do not “fix” your stress the way people think they are supposed to.
I probably would not waste my money on rhodiola or eleuthero. Some of these things may work for some people, but not consistently.
Libido - Enhancing Pills
I really, really want libido enhancers to work for my clients. I hear woeful tales of general lack of libido and its associated implications on marriage every week in my office. I have run through many of these supplements (doing sample trials on myself and Beau for the good of my clients, natch!) and sadly, most of them do nothing. I guess our expectations of #libido pills are too high and too unrealistic. Will a pill take away our baby bellies and the dirty dishes in the sink and the memory of the phone call with our co-worker that went awry earlier in the day?
What does help: eating a proper amount of #calories and #protein, sleeping 8 hours a night, moving your body regularly, strength training, a tight knit fellowship of encouraging girlfriends, and the ability to say NO to to many extraneous activities.
And also, maybe a rollerball of stimulating essential oils applied to the inner thighs- information shared by a dear friend... I’m researching this for you currently and will let you know.
Most multivitamins simply do not contain enough of each vitamin in order to be effective. I like to use individual nutrients at a slower pace so that we can see exactly what is making a difference in the body.
Most micronutrients like Vitamin C, E, D, and the assorted B vitamins need to be offered in specific and abundant amounts in order to do anything for you. I have one multi that I do like, but you cannot get it just anywhere. Let me know if you are interested.
It is better for you to test your serum levels of vitamins and supplements accordingly. Ask your doctor for a blood panel to test your D, B12, B6, iron, and ferritin.
I hope this short guide helps you figure out what is worth your money and what is not worth your money. Aside from supplements, it is wise to budget for quality meat, fruits, vegetables, and fats. Use a quality digestive enzyme to help you break down and assimilate all of those great nutrients you are taking in.
What do you think? Everyone is different. What works for you? What does not?